S01E10 Beef Stew and Potato – Evenfall Hollow Board of Tourism

We go on a walk-along with local animal control officer Shiela Hernandez as she tracks an outbreak of Chupacabra. Also, the community helps name the show, and we find out what really happens after dark in the parking lot of the new shopping center in New Hollow.

Local Sponsor Support Provided by: The Krogar

Show Notes:

Episode Script: Ruu McKinney

Voice Acting:

Phil Liota: Ruu McKinney

Music:

Introduction
“Laundromat Lofi Chill” by Muzaproduction

Happenings in the Hollow:
“Dynamic Flow” by Lulu_Sound_music

Local Community Spotlight:
“The Ghost of Shepard Pie” by Geoffrey Burch (geoffreyburch.com)

“Dark Ambient Background music Highway” by Back_Drop

Local Sponsor Message:
“Upbeat Acoustic Uplifting” by DanaMusic (https://buymeacoffee.com/danamusic)

Outro Bed Music:
“The Ghost of Shepard Pie” by Geoffrey Burch (geoffreyburch.com)

Beef Stew and Potato Episode Transcript

[Intro Segment begins. “Laundromat Lofi Chill” plays]

Hello everyone and good morning from Evenfall Hollow. I’m Phil, and along with my PA Paul and our office cat Muffin, we are the public facing side of the Evenfall Hollow Board of Tourism.

[Off Mic]

See what I mean Paul? That is just too much. We need something way shorter.

Anyways Listeners, our hunt for a show name continues.

Oh? Thank you Paul.

So, I have here the latest batch of submissions, so why don’t we take a moment and see what our town has come up with this time.

So our first submission is from anonymous. It reads “Come to Evenfall Hollow, starring Paul, a fleabag, and a loud mouth sinner. PS: YOU SMELL LIKE DILL AND BOURBON!”

Hmm. I don’t like that one at all, and no I do not. I smell like sandalwood and coffee beans, thank you very much. Maybe a little less aggro next time Pastor.

[Off Mic]

Also, Paul, why are you the only one he didn’t insult? No, I didn’t see a name, but who else would write that? I mean I’m pretty sure everyone loves me in the hollow, don’t they? No, if it were Craig from the quick bite, there wouldn’t be a letter at all because as well all know, Craig is notoriously lazy.

Anyhow our next submission comes from… Oh hey, Susan Parket! Susan writes “Greetings from Evenfall Hollow, starring Phil, Paul, and Muffin.”

I… I mean it’s short, it’s sweet, and it’s to the point. I like it. Thank you, Susan. We may have a winner here.

Oh, there is one more? Okay, let’s see it.

Wait, this is just a folded piece of paper with a squirt of mustard on it. How would I even pronounce that?

Well, we are going to discuss our recent submissions over the next couple of days, but if I’m being honest, I think we may already have a winner.

[Off Mic]

No Paul, we’re not using Evenfall McEvenfall Face. Well, I’m sorry, but I’m making an executive decision on this.

[Long Groan]

Fine we’ll talk about it later.

For now, however, let’s see what happening in the Hollow.

[Happening in the Hollow Segment begins. “Dynamic Flow” plays]

It has been a busy week for business in the Hollow. Now, as many of our long-time residents know, our town has always been synonymous with choice. To that end, we have always had a large amount of grocery stores to choose from.

We had the Safeway in Old Hollow, the Albertson’s next to the Safeway in old hollow, the new shopping center in new hollow with the Fry’s, Gerbe’s, Mariano’s, and Ralph’s, all facing each other. Yeah Paul, they have large knife fights in the parking lot every Thursday night.

It’s quite the spectacle. They have betting, face-painting, churros. It’s a whole thing.

Anyhow, in total, we had 28 different grocery stores in our town. Notice I used the word HAD. You see, we received an announcement today that Krogar, the grocery conglomerate, small arms manufacturer, and budding AI developer, has just concluded its most recent merger. As of tomorrow, all of the Hollow’s grocery stores will be unified into one single location, and that one location will be placed as far away and inconveniently to you as possible.

According to the official press release, this new location will be known only as “The Krogar” and will charge whatever it wants, for whatever it wants to sell, and you can’t do anything about it.

In other news, Grillo’s Pickles has redesigned its pickle containers to be less horrible. When asked about the impetus for this change, sources within Grillo’s replied “We learned about a new technology called a jar, and thought we’d give it a try.”

Upon learning about this new-fangled technology, Pastor Glanville and his congregation of baptized and lord loving souls, have announced they will be dropping their Grillo’s Pickles Boycott.

When approached for additional comment, the pastor, who at the time, was secluded in a dark closet with a mouthful of pickles, proceeded to give us a series of frantic, and quite frankly, rude hand gestures as he grunted and dribbled pickle brine down his chin while attempting to close the door.

And that concludes this week’s Happenings in the Hollow.

[Local Community Spotlight segment begins. “The Ghost of Shepard’s pie” plays.]

Our main story today involves not a business, but rather one of our civil servants that helps to keep our lovely town safe and beautiful. That’s right Paul, it’s local animal control officer Sheila Hernandez. No, I see you trying to hide. Come on out here Paul.

So, Shiela is responsible for dealing with the local wildlife of the Hollow. Tell me Shiela, what sort of equipment do you use on your average day? \

Shiela is showing off a butterfly net, a small pink can of bear-mace, and ooh are those brass knuckles? Niiiiice.

So, what animals respond best to each tool? Uh huh. So basically, bear-mace and brass knuckles for most things? Well, what about the butterfly net? Ah, so now that Francis is no longer a problem, it’s mainly just for youthful looking sepia-toned pictures, and looking busy when the mayor is watching? Makes sense.

So, I’m curious. We’ve been seeing fewer wild dogs lately since Helen’s bakery started giving out those pupcakes. And with dog attacks at an all-time low then, what local fauna are taking up most of your day now?

Uh huh. So mostly feral clowns and the occasional velociraptor? That’s interesting. No issues with the dark-eyed children or the lady in white?

Really? Uh huh. So, listeners, it seems that much of the local fauna has gone into a hiding of sorts since the arrival of that jerk of a hot dog man. So, do you think they’re just scared of hoverboards and hot dog water, or what?

Oh! Listeners, it looks like Shiela just got a call. Apparently, there is a chupacabra harassing the Colonel over at the Quartado.

Hey, Shiela, do you think we’d be able to tag along with you?

Really? Ooh, come on Paul and Muffin, we’re hitting the streets. So, listeners, we’re going to head over to the scene with Shiela, so while we do that, here is a message from one of our local sponsors.

[Local Sponsor Message Segment. “Upbeat acoustic uplifting” plays.]

Hi. I am a normal, completely average person, just like yourself. I work a normal, average job, and make a normal, average wage. And just like yourself, I too worry about large, corporate mergers. But then I looked into this new Krogar merger, and found that it is actually the best way for Krogar to ensure I have all the products I need.

I mean, how many times have you had to go to three different stores, in an attempt to find that one specific brand of Taco seasoning? If Krogar doesn’t have it, you don’t need it.